RANDOM....but is makes some sense

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.(no not really but it was funny)

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."